What Is Happiness To You?

I’m lying here thinking about happiness. What is it really? I feel it’s a truly unsustainable emotion. I often feel like true happiness – the kind that makes you feel like you are floating through life as if you are a balloon is just an illusion. For me it has never lasted more then a few weeks before the balloon bursts and I come crashing back to earth. Sometimes that fall to reality can be harsher then others. It really depends on what causes said happiness.

For example the happiness attainted from seeing my favourite musicians live is strongest during that 90-120 minutes they are on stage – but crash isn’t really bad - and on bad days, pictures, video’s and bootlegs of said show can be a real pick me up. For me those memories are so strong they don’t feel real – remembering isn’t enough. It’s as if I just daydreamed it. Actual physical proof reminds me that I did live the dream. The same with goes with vacations and travel.

However, the happiness experience when it comes from lust or love is harder to get over. Relationships torture and torment us in many ways and yet we still feel they are worth it – worth the risk of that crash when it doesn’t work out. Sometimes it can take months, or years to get over the demise of a former love. We swear – never again - and eventually some other individual winds their way into your life that makes you think it’s worth the risk. Even when relationships run smoothly – the honeymoon stage ends eventually and all you’re left with is contentment at best.


Which brings me to my main thought – nobody searches and strives for a life of contentment – everyone wants a life of happiness. But perhaps if we all strived for a life of contentment instead of happiness we’d all be a little happier. Maybe we set the goal to high with the expectation of constant happiness and when we don’t experience it – we end up feeling worse about our lives. You may think I’m just playing with semantics but I truly believe there is a big difference between happiness and contentment.

Isn’t it better to experience the stability of contentment vs. the emotional roller coaster of life spent in pursuit of the happiness high? For me it is. I haven’t experienced that extreme feeling of happiness for a quite a while and I think I’m better off for it. I am very please with were my life is at the moment. I have a great internship – amazing friends and family who make me feel appreciated, loved and respected – and a direction in life. I feel like I can’t ask much more then that.

So I wondered - Why don’t I feel happier? That’s when I realized that I’m not unhappy – not at all. But happiness isn’t how I would describe my current disposition – I am content, and I am extremely happy about that.