Perez Hilton One Night In Toronto

I won tickets for Perez Hilton One Night in Toronto. 


GREAT, except I don't really like any of the acts and only really want to go because it's free.


Problem is it's Sunday night. So aside from having to leave the family fathers day get together early, I'd also have to go to work hung over in the morning.


Is it worth going? 


I can't decide.

I'm Very Angry at my Blackberry!

Oh spinning hour glass of death how I hate thee!

In general I hate my Blackberry. But I'm under contract with Virgin Mobile Canada and up until recently the only smart phone you could get through Virgin were Blackberry's and iPhones. I choose Blackberry to buy Canadian even though I am a mac loyal for everything else.

I was planning on switching to the new iPhone in a few weeks. So I venture over to virgin's website to see if they have the pricing up for the new phones in advance. However I get distracted by the giant HTC Legend promo on their home page.

What's this? Virgin has an android phone now! For me that's perfect since I organize my entire life through my Gmail Calender and use google services like they are a religion.

Did I mention it's only $350.00 to buy out right which is probably about $300 cheaper than an iPhone  - meaning I can get a new phone for way less without having to sign a new contract. AMAZING.

Discovering this  after waging battle with that blasted spinning hour glass all day means I am so ready to buy this phone it's not even funny. I go to my closest Virgin store. They have one!

There is only one problem. The manager hasn't entered it into inventory yet so the cute Aussie sales clerk can't sell it to me. nooooooooooooo.

WTF Virgin. Does anyone ever walk into apple 3 days after a product is released to be told that they don't have it in their inventory? NO, because they have their shit together. Unlike you, Virgin,  who send out wrong bills and can never answer my customer service questions because my phone is on the "old system".

Anyways, I was so distracted by the Aussies' cute accent and all around hotness that I could do was sadly wimper "I'm very angry at my Blackberry."

Even more angry now, because that would have been a half hour of listening to that accent as he set up my new phone.

I'm very angry at my Blackberry!

Sexually Frustrated Kitty.

Meet Felix.

Felix is my room mates cat who we first fostered than adopted from Toronto Cat Rescue.

He is pretty much the most awesome cat ever. With One exception.

He is the most sexually frustrated cat I've ever met. He's fixed yet still randy all the time. To make matters worse he's developed an attraction for my right arm? whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyy?


He's constantly trying to hump my arm. I'm constantly (gently) throwing him off. It's weird! I guess it's good practice for when I eventually have a boyfriend to reject?

Anyways, in December, as always, I got a stuffed animal in my stocking. At 22, I'm a little old for stuffed animal, but hey it's a nice tradition and they are normally Christmas themed and are good decorations.

This year I got a polar bear. ahhhh idea! I'll give it to Felix and he'll hump it instead. 

Crazy enough, the idea worked. He moved on from my arm. That was until I cleaned my room at put the bear  away. Clearly,  I wasn't thinking.

The other day, I'm chilling out on my bed, surfing the internet as usual, and felix attempts to mount up.

"Felix. STOP IT. I gaaaavveee you a stuffed animal for that!"

But as I look at the floor of my room I realize the animal is not there. I get up, go to my closet, pull it off the shelf and throw it on the floor.

Felix goes from looking sad and lonely on my bed to ecstatic as he jumps off and goes to town on poor polar bear.

Is it wrong that I've given my cat a masturbatory aid? I just feel bad for the poor guy.

Grace Inside A Sound

16th of June, nine o' five, door bell rings
Man at the door says if I want to stay alive a bit longer
There's a few things I need you to know.

Three coming from a long line of traveling sales people on my mother's side
I wasn't gonna buy just anyone's cockatoo
So why would I invite a complete stranger into my home
Would you?

These days are better than that
These days are better than that

Every day I die again, and again I'm reborn
Every day I have to find the courage
To walk out into the street
With arms out
Got a love you can't defeat
Neither down or out
There's nothing you have that I need
I can breathe
Breathe now

16th of June, Chinese stocks are going up
And I'm coming down with some new Asian virus
Ju Ju man, Ju Ju man
Doc says you're fine, or dying
Please
Nine o' nine, St. John Divine, on the line, my pulse is fine
But I'm running down the road like loose electricity
While the band in my head plays a striptease

The roar that lies on the other side of silence
The forest fire that is fear so deny it

Walk out into the street
Sing your heart out
The people we meet
Will not be drowned out
There's nothing you have that I need
I can breathe
Breathe now
Yeah, yeah

We are people borne of sound
The songs are in our eyes
Gonna wear them like a crown

Walk out, into the sunburst street
Sing your heart out, sing my heart out
I've found grace inside a sound
I found grace, it's all that I found
And I can breathe
Breathe now 

Learn Fundraising with 30 Rock.

Fundraising lessons can be seen everywhere... apparently, and slightly to my dismay.

Anyways, I stupidly set myself a goal to read Keep Your Donors, which is a 400 page text book on good donor relationship building, before Tuesday. This is definitely an unreasonable goal.

Realizing that it's impossible I decided to slack off and watch 30 rock with my room mate. WELL, this particular episode of 30 rock featured a charity golf tournament and a great example of how not to ask a group of people for money followed by a good example of how to ask a group of people for money.

If only my actual classes were as entertaining as this. Maybe I would have paid more attention.

The scene of reference starts at the 14:30 mark, but you should really just watch the whole episode because it's awesome.

MUTEMATH for Music Monday

If it's good enough for twitter it's good enough for Defining Smaller. I hereby declare all Mondays to be Music Mondays. I promise I will try to keep the U2 down. I do have other musical interest, although so far they haven't come out much.

Do you listen to New Rock or Alt Rock? Have you heard of MUTEMATH? If you haven't, check them out.

I had the unexpected pleasure of seeing them preform at VFEST Ontario last year. They were on the same bill as Nine Inch Nails and played a short mid afternoon set. In fact, I think that they only played four songs. I'd never heard of them before that day, but that set ended up being on of my favourite performances of the whole festival. 20 minutes was enough to convince me to buy both their self titled debut album and their follow up Armistice.

Of course, I listened to the albums a few times and never really got into either of them. Plus, the new rock station in Toronto doesn't play their music so I kind of forgot about them. (Yo, Alan Cross - I know you know who they are. Play them on The Edge).

Fast forward a few months. My father purchases a new car and with that comes a free subscription to satellite radio - What's this? MUTEMATH is all over the alternative stations. I guess they are kind of popular. And they should be.

I started listening to Armistice again. Articulated on it is the anger and devastation that all New Oreleans residents are feeling post Katrina.  It's a beautiful, interesting and engaging album that leaves you wanting to replay it over and over again. If you a twihard you'll recognize Spotlight from the first twilight soundtrack.

Tracks by them you should check out include: Spotlight,  Typical and The Nerve.

Getting Into The Spirt

I'm not going to lie. I'm not feeling the world cup this time around. I don't have cable and I'm just not into soccer enough to put up with a buffering live stream or drink at 10am in the morning.

However, I might be able to get more into the spirt with the help of some creative advertising on behalf of ESPN. In 2006, ESPN used the music of U2 to create different ads which featured the members of the band narrating a short story. In 2010 ESPN is again using the music of U2 in their advertising campaign. However, If you missed the originals I can't think of a better time to take trip down memory lane:

Bono on the Ivory Coast:


Adam Clayton on the Tartan Army


Edge on sick days - I think this one screams the truth!!

Goodbye Hotmail?

That is if I can figure out how to delete my account. Windows Live makes it impossibly stupid to delete your account. 

When I attempt to do this with my account it says I'm linked to a points system and a billing account. When I click on the link for the billing account it says that I don't have a billing account. So I don't know what Windows Live is talking about.

As for this points account: It's from when I lived with people who had an xbox last year. I don't play video games very often and I can't figure out how to delete this point accounts from my computer. Wouldn't it just be easier for them to say "when you delete your windows live account you will also be deleting your points account"?

Yes. But instead they say you have to go and delete all the other accounts that your Windows Live account is connected to. Really annoying. I've had this account for almost 10 years, I can't remember everything I've signed up for with it. 

Yet another reason to hate Microsoft! 

I Have A Professional Athlete Addiction

Growing up I was always playing or watching sports.  Baseball, in particular has been a main stay in my life for as long as I can remember. It was how I bonded with my dad. We'd watch Blue Jays games at home and if I was lucky he would get tickets from a client, and we'd make the hour trip to the SkyDome to see them in action. I would not change those memories for anything.

As a child my favourite players were always picked by who was the "best" on the team or who my dad like. However, as I got older this began to change.

Being female it didn't take me long to realize that professional athletes tend to be, ummm, rather attractive. My interest in sports suddenly was very swayed by this fact. In fact, I became obsessed with a new sport when I was 14 - Basketball.

Yup, the raptors suddenly became my centre of my universe, because Morris Peterson, became the centre of my crazy fantasy love life. I LOVED LOVED LOVED Morris Peterson and everyone knew it. I was devastated when he left for New Orleans as a free agent in 2007.

But, I quickly got over it.

My fantasy love life switched back the Blue Jays as Troy Glaus, followed by Alex Rios became the objects of my unrealistic desires. But then they both left and now all I'm left with is outdated jerseys and memories of my crazy fandom.

My problem is I feel no particular attraction to any of the current Blue Jays or Raptors. But the Raptors seem to get around 7 new players every year, so there is hope. And I think Travis Snider shows promise on the Jays side. Plus we're the same age - hello not so completely unrealistic fantasy.

So with the World Cup starting today, don't be surprised if my allegiance switches from Germany to which ever team has the hottest player. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a cute smile, hot body and millions of dollars.

A Rant about the G20 Summit

Last time I checked over 3 million people lived in Toronto. However, During the last weekend in June the thoughts, feelings and plans of these people matter less to the City of Toronto and the Canadian Government then the bug Steven Harper squashed as he walked into work this morning.

Why, why, why would any city choose to host the G20 Summit? It feels more like a punishment then a privilege.

• Those who live downtown need security passes just to get into their homes. 
• $2 million spent on security fences.
• Cell phone jammers.
• We can't fly kites.
• The Art Gallery of Ontario is shutting down for the weekend.
• The CN Tower is closing.
• Traveling out of Union station will be a nightmare.
• The lack of insurance coverage for riot damage.
• The Bluejays had to move their games to the opposing team field denying fans the chance to see Roy Halladay pitch in the SkyDome again.
• The $57,000.00 fake lake. ummmm will the real Lake Ontario please stand up?

Can't you world leaders just meet on Skype and save everyone a lot of time and money?

I would protest, but the delegates won't notice. However, the rest of the world will see Toronto look more like a war zone than the city I love. No marketing pavilion will fix that.

For Your Consideration: Conan O'Brien

Once upon a time I used to love both Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. Once upon a time I used to love NBC.  I even travelled to LA and went to two tapings of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I stood on The Tonight Show stage with Jay Leno.

Once upon a time I tried to attend a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien in Toronto. 40,000 people entered the lottery for those tickets - I've never been to lucky.

I now shudder at the thought of even watching Jay Leno and would never watch NBC if it wasn't for Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

But, I'm still with Coco.

I've never felt as bad for a celebrity as I did for Conan O'Brien. The demise of the Tonight Show with Conan was one that thousands of people around the world could relate too. While I'm sad that he's not currently on tv...in some ways Conan getting his ass booted out of NBC like a drunk out of a bar paid off for him and his fans.

The last few weeks of the Tonight Show were some of the funniest moments in his career. I personally loved when he put the tonight show up for sale on craigslist.  Plus now that he has a twitter account, twitter tracker has exploded and my day instantly gets better every-time he tweets.

I got to see Conan do his thing live when his "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television" tour stopped in Toronto. It was definitely sorta worth it.

For him, well, he got to realize that his fan love him enough to rally behind him and pay to see him preform (something they've never had to do before). And now, In my opinion, for the first time in his career Conan is finally getting to be the star of the network, like he should have been at NBC.

TBS isn't going to let NBC forget the mistakes they've made. Conan maybe legally prohibited from being funny on TV, but TBS isn't prohibited from reminded everyone of just how funny he was and will be.

They have launched an aggressive advertising campaign to get Conan an Emmy. To me this would be the ultimate ironic ending to the whole Conan vs. NBC fiasco.

The Emmy's air on NBC on August 29 and Conan's TBS show starts November 8th.

I think we know how Jimmy Kimmel and David Letterman are voting!

Give this man an Emmy. He's legally prohibited from being funny on television - hasn't he earned it?!

My Personal Brand is U2

One of the first people learn about me is my deep love for U2. The music created by Adam, Bono, Edge and Larry inspires, comforts and defines my life on a daily basis.

Defining Smaller is a perfect example. The main picture of the CN Tower was taken at the U2 concert on September 16th 2009. You can see the edge of stage on the left hand side of the picture. Moreover, I've already mentioned Bono a bunch of time and this is only my tenth post. 

I'm proud of my wealth of knowledge about the band and the things I've accomplished because of their inspiration. It's easy for me to talk about and allows for easy conversation when talking with relative strangers.

When a new connection finds out about U2 and I it sparks a range of questions that allow for easy engagement:

Why U2?

Honestly I don't know. It started in high school because I loved the songs Beautiful Day and Elevation. I stole my sisters Best of 1990-2000 and The Joshua Tree and the rest is history

Favourite song?

In A Little While 

Favourite Album?

Achtung Baby!

Favourite member?

Adam Clayton

How many times have you seen them live? twice in 2005 and twice in 2009.

Even if the person I'm talking to hate U2 or hates Bono it allows me to 

engage in easy and interesting conversation. Normally, I ask why and listen to them with interest. I don't expect everyone to love what I do and respect their opinions (unless they Bono bash without a decent reason).

Most of the time people I talk to have the same passion for another artist. If that passion is there, it's easy to make a meangiful and memorable connect with someone that could transform into a great friendship. 

Defining Smaller

For those of you who don't sprechen sie duetch the direct translation of Kleiner in english is Smaller.

Hense the name Defining Smaller.

This blog not only defines who I am but it defines the way I see the world - smaller.

ahhh so the the blog title has a double meaning.

I honestly believe the world is small. Do you know the game six degree's of separation from Kevin Bacon.  You can pretty much apply that same theory to anyone in the world. Is there someone you want to meet ? Use your network to make it happen. Be creative, be consistent, and be nice to people and you'll be surprised and how high up you can climb. From there everything will look smaller, but if you treat the world below you as if it was larger then life you will always be a success.

As Bono once said "Dream up the kind of world you want to live in. Dream out loud at high volume".  Go after your dreams, anything is possible and don't forget to thank the people who help you along the way.

Kinky or Straight

Being a girl and living in Southern Ontario means that weather effects every decision you could possibly make - including how to style your hair.  

If you're lucky you either have straight hair or curly hair. The kind of hair that is easy wash and wear and looks perfect without much struggle.  

If your like me, you have hair that falls in between. Not quite curly, not quite straight. It kinks, bends and frizzes in ways that are just completely unfortunate and difficult to control.  


However, depending on the time of year and weather there are solutions.  

I love winter, because I can wear my hair straight. In my opinion this is when it looks it's best. I also find hat hair an excellent excuse not to curl my hair. While straightening can be a ton of work, taking the time to blow out my hair with a round brush dramatically cuts down the straightening time. And the results last. I normally only have to style my hair once every three days in the winter. 

This is not the case in the summer. While living on Lake Ontario is amazing, the humidity it causes is not. My hair is uncontrollable in the summer. I have just accepted this fact this year. For summer of 2010 I am giving up my beloved hair straightener.

It'll be an adventure filled with mouse and many showers all in the efforts to achieve the perfect curls and perfect the process so they turn out that way every morning and last all day. wish me luck - I'm going to need it.

What Is Happiness To You?

I’m lying here thinking about happiness. What is it really? I feel it’s a truly unsustainable emotion. I often feel like true happiness – the kind that makes you feel like you are floating through life as if you are a balloon is just an illusion. For me it has never lasted more then a few weeks before the balloon bursts and I come crashing back to earth. Sometimes that fall to reality can be harsher then others. It really depends on what causes said happiness.

For example the happiness attainted from seeing my favourite musicians live is strongest during that 90-120 minutes they are on stage – but crash isn’t really bad - and on bad days, pictures, video’s and bootlegs of said show can be a real pick me up. For me those memories are so strong they don’t feel real – remembering isn’t enough. It’s as if I just daydreamed it. Actual physical proof reminds me that I did live the dream. The same with goes with vacations and travel.

However, the happiness experience when it comes from lust or love is harder to get over. Relationships torture and torment us in many ways and yet we still feel they are worth it – worth the risk of that crash when it doesn’t work out. Sometimes it can take months, or years to get over the demise of a former love. We swear – never again - and eventually some other individual winds their way into your life that makes you think it’s worth the risk. Even when relationships run smoothly – the honeymoon stage ends eventually and all you’re left with is contentment at best.


Which brings me to my main thought – nobody searches and strives for a life of contentment – everyone wants a life of happiness. But perhaps if we all strived for a life of contentment instead of happiness we’d all be a little happier. Maybe we set the goal to high with the expectation of constant happiness and when we don’t experience it – we end up feeling worse about our lives. You may think I’m just playing with semantics but I truly believe there is a big difference between happiness and contentment.

Isn’t it better to experience the stability of contentment vs. the emotional roller coaster of life spent in pursuit of the happiness high? For me it is. I haven’t experienced that extreme feeling of happiness for a quite a while and I think I’m better off for it. I am very please with were my life is at the moment. I have a great internship – amazing friends and family who make me feel appreciated, loved and respected – and a direction in life. I feel like I can’t ask much more then that.

So I wondered - Why don’t I feel happier? That’s when I realized that I’m not unhappy – not at all. But happiness isn’t how I would describe my current disposition – I am content, and I am extremely happy about that. 

How To Destroy Nine Inch Nails

I have nothing but love and respect for Trent Reznor. The music he's created with Nine Inch Nails changed, saved and defines some very key moments in my life.

                                                                                                            

When he announced last summer that Nine Inch Nails would be touring for the last time I was lucky enough to see them twice in three months. At their very last Canadian date at VFest on August 30th 2009 I stood from 8:30am till 11:30pm just to be in the front row. Trust me it was worth it.

As NIN drew to a close many fans wondered what would become of the band and the man that created the music that mattered so much to them. We knew he wouldn't disappear forever, and of course he didn't.

It seems that Trent has finally grown up completely. He married former West Indian Girl front woman Mariqueen Maandig and together with Atticus Ross they formed a new band How To Destroy Angels.

First thought. What a lame name, but I guess this really doesn't matter. It's all about the music right?

Then came the first sample of their music:


Right of the bat, I'm not impressed. The last thing I want to see is one of my favourite musicians dead on floor while his wife whines about how hard it is to be famous. I acknowledge fame is tough, but it's a choice to live in the lime light, don't complain.

You can get the rest of the album Here. It's free and you if you have any interest in NIN's music you will probably like like it.

As for myself, I don't exactly hate the EP but I don't really like it either. It's basically a Nine Inch Nails album with a different singer. It would have been nice to see Trent step out of his comfort zone a little and create an album that departed more from The Slip (which you can also get for free Here).

The Slip had to grow on me and I think maybe the first EP from How To Destroy Angles will too. Either way I'm happy that Trent is still creating music.

When Activist Have To Much Time On Their Hands

Fun Fact about me: I'm from Hamilton ON. Hamilton is a working class town 45 minutes west of Toronto, and it has its share of problems. 

I never would have thought that one of the cities problems would be urinals in a bars washroom.

The Honest Lawyer is a bar located in Jackson Square, right in the heart of downtown Hamilton. In the men's washroom it featured novelty urinals that looked like this. 

That was until recently anyways. 

The Woman Abuse Working Group took offense and started a letter writing campaign lobbying for the restaurant to remove the urinals. They sent over 1000 letters and even involved Ontario NDP Leader  Andrea Horwath. 

Now I ask, is this cause really worthy of the Woman Abuse Working Groups time? No...of course not. And I certainly hope that a political party leader has better things to do with her time then concern herself with the decor in the men's washroom in the Honest Lawyer. 

What has been accomplished from their efforts? Is anyone safer? Can they even show that these lips provoked violence against women in anyway? I'm a woman, I don't find them offensive at all. Tacky, yes.

The simple solution, don't go into that bar if it offends you. 

Use the resources of your organization to create real change.  Your organization should make the news when you've helped women escape abusive situations not when you've harassed a restaurant owner into removing his tongue in cheek urinals.