The What If Game

Sometimes life throws you unexpected curves that make you question everything you believe. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. But lately I have a lot of great opportunities and options placed in front of me and I don't know which ones to pick. I keep finding myself playing the what if game.

What if I can't find a new job? What if I pick the wrong job? What if I break a heart? What if I get my heart broken? What if I make new friends? What if I lose a good friend? What if I go broke? What if I Deadmau5 decides to hire me? What if I ditch Toronto for Dublin or Miami?

When you believe things happens for a reason you're not supposed to play the what if game. I think it's a symptom of not knowing what I want. I've gone through my entire life always knowing exactly what direction I was going in. Finding a career has always been my main goal. Now that I've accomplished that goal I feel like I'm in a holding pattern until I figure out what's next.

I need to find a goal to focus on until at least July 2012. That's when Steph's wedding is and it offers the perfect opportunity to start fresh again in Toronto or abroad. It also gives me some time to figure out what I really want from life.

I'm a big picture kind of girl. Short term goals are definitely not my speciality. So, I need some help. Any suggestions universe?

EEEEEEEEE ------>

Why is it when females see something cute they lose the ability to use words and instead resort to emitting a series of strange sounds and pointing. 

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Today @GarinKilpatrick tweeted a Paramore cover of U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday.

I don't have any stats on this but I feel like Sunday Bloody Sunday is one of u2's most popular and most covered songs.  Here are a few versions of it that I find interesting. Which one do you like the best?



 I don't hate this cover but I think it's missing a bit of umph. If this was a performance on American Idol I think she'd be voted off.



I love this version because it remains true to the original while still being authentic to Saul Williams rap/industrial/electronic style.



Hilarious. Kudos to whoever took the time to make it.


The band gave the song a break for a few years in the 90s. It remerged as an Edge solo towards the end of the Popmart Tour.  In the middle of the show Edge would sing karaoke with the audience and this version of Sunday Bloody Sunday to give Bono's ailing voice a rest. This is my favourite version.



There's nothing like the original. "and it's true we are immune when fact is fiction, tv reality." I think it's fascinating how much that applies to current society even though this song was released in 1983 long before the first reality television shows were produced (and when mtv still played music).


The best live version of this song. If you don't feel anything watching Bono's obvious disgust in the "revolution" and the "troubles" you have no soul.

Sometimes I Like To Relive This Memory

I filmed this on September 16th 2009. U2 was performing Until The End of The World (and then Stay) at the Roger's Centre when Bono decided to take a tumble and lay down on the stage right infront of Steph and I. Clearly, I couldn't contain myself as you can tell from my screaming.

Amazing day. Amazing concert. I took those pictures of the CN Tower that day.

Next show I'm dancing on stage with Bono. You can count on it.

Conscious Breathing

http://www.corbisimages.com/Enlargement/PE-212-0115.html

"If you breathe through your nose you won't get so dehydrated."  This was a tip I picked up the other day from my  hot yoga instructor.

Today I hit the gym to do some good old interval training on the stairmaster. Two minutes into a 30 minute workout and I was already desperate for water. There's no way I was dehydrated going in because I don't drink pop, I haven't had an alcoholic beverage in almost two weeks, and I drink herbal tea or water all day.

I realized I was breathing through my mouth. So  I decided to apply my yogi's advice and consciously try breathing through my nose instead. It takes more mental effort because when your trying to take in large amounts of oxygen it's easier and more natural to breathe through your mouth. However, I found that the tip worked. I only needed to grab a sip every 10 minutes or so.

I'm going to try and apply this to all my workouts (except swimming, because I would drown). Drinking to much water can make you feel sick and hinder your performance. So hopefully by making a simple adjustment I'll start to see a difference.

Heat Wave In The Middle of Winter.

http://www.bikramyogavacations.com/images/p3260358_klein.jpg

January is about the time of year when I start thinking "get me the fuck out of this country."

Toronto's a dark, snowy, slushy, salty mess. The past few days I've been part daydreaming, part planning, part hallucinating about going somewhere warm and buying a house and never coming back. Alright, I'd come back for the summer, because who am I kidding, even in paradise I would miss the CN Tower.

Running away to a tropical beach isn't always in the cards. There's work, money, feasible travel dates and actually having a passport to consider. But, that doesn't mean you can't work up a sweat just by laying around in Toronto.

A few days ago I took my first Bikram Yoga class in two years. It's an hour and a half class in a room that's almost 40 degree Celsius. The only condition upon taking the class is that  you have to stay in the room the full 90 minutes. Even if you can't complete the poses and just lay there. Trust me, if you've never tried this type of yoga before you will be laying down for much of your first class.

While you're laying there feeling like you're going to suffocate you will long for the cold, crisp and fresh winter air.  A new appreciation for winter will be found.

It's a great way to escape the winter blues, turn off your mind and get that blast of warmth you crave. It's also a reminder that summer heat has it's flaws too. Especially, when you don't have air conditioning and need to take 3 showers a day just to attempt to stay cool.

It's the Canadian predisposition to complain about the weather in all circumstances. Sorry Mother Nature, I guess you're out of luck, eh.

Can I Just Talk About

The Biggest Loser for a second.

The Biggest Loser and I aren't besties. I don't watch it religiously and I'm not 100% convinced that their training methods are exactly healthy.

That being said it's still and inspirational, motivational and cathartic show for me to watch right now. I may not be 300 pounds but I certainly know what it's like to go through a gruelling workout. I didn't even make it all the way through my first work out.

However, I've incorporated training into my regular life. I go three times a week and for the majority of it I was working two jobs (now only one) and am still managing to having a fulfilling social life. While on the show these participants have nothing to do but focus on weight loss. So while they've been successful in an extreme situation they have not done it in the real world. What happens when they don't have two amazing trainers on their asses all day?

Oh, but there is a twist.  This season their aren't just two trainers, there are four. Two new "unknown trainers" have shook things up a bit. The teams were given a challenge. The choice to pick the unknown trainers and get 4 weeks immunity or train with Bob and Jillian and be up for elimination each week. Immunity is the ultimate prize on the show, so to me the choice is obvious.

I was shocked to see teams freely, choose Bob and Jillian, because they were proven (read the contestants were star struck) over four weeks immunity. To me everyone who choose to work with Bob and Jillian aren't there only to get their life in order , other motivations have to come into play: maybe it's a bit of a groupie thing or their own desire to be famous.

I suspect Bob and Jillian feel similar as they basically told the teams who chose them they made a dumb decision.  That was only proved at the weigh in where a single contestant from the "unknown trainers" lost 41lbs in one week (that's a show record by the way). That's more then entire teams lost together. Clearly these "unknown trainers" know their shit, or maybe the stronger. smarter and more determined contestants just choose them. Either way it's going to be an interesting season.

Sometimes I Think I Could Burn

One thing I've learned from having a personal trainer is the importance of switching your work out routine up every 6 weeks or so. I have been training for just over three months and have gone through two different types of training.

The first 6 weeks formed a foundation for working with weights and the type of movements that I will be doing as I complete my training program. The next 6 weeks I was focusing on building muscle mass with lots of weight and less reps.

As of this week I'm in burn period. This is the weight loss part of program. It's pretty much an intense hour of cardio which leaves me drenched in sweat, trying to catch my breath and desperate for a shower and some water.

The goal:  lose 10-12 pounds in the next six weeks.

The plan:

-  I have three sessions a week so I need to make them all, work hard and don't complain. Complaining has gotten me into trouble a few times. I'm a whiner, I can't help it. I think this is because whiner rhymes with Kleiner.

- I should add some extra cardio in there. the plan is to hit the gym with my ipod and earphones (good music is key) and sweat it out on the stair master at least one additional time a week. It's funny once you start going to the gym a lot it really doesn't feel like an inconvenience. The thought of going a few extra times a week actually makes me pretty happy. The best part of going outside a session is that I can go whenever I want!

- I must eat right! My nutrition has not been very good since Halloween. It's incredibly shameful. It was already my intention to get back on track and the burn is just some good motivation.  Alcohol is out for the next 6 weeks and so is cheese. I don't need either of those things. Although, I do enjoy them I think I can live without them. It's just a matter of will power. The other goal is no carbs after 2pm. This one is going to be more challenging. I can normally do it for a week and then I get desperate for some bread with dinner.

They say failing to plan is planning to fail so hopefully sticking to these three key points will help me to reach or exceed my goal.

A Year of Deadmau5 - Part 2

I took this from Deadmau5's facebook.
Cool people "like" him http://www.facebook.com/deadmau5

It was reading week in February. The Olympics had just started and I was driving home with my dad. We were just around the corner from my house listening and Sirius Satellite Radio on the top 40 station. They were doing a count down and Selena Gomez was the guest announcer.  I so vividly remember looking at the green letters on the  display that read artists: Deadmau5 song: Ghosts 'n' Stuff.

As Selena introduced the song she dropped some pretty key facts about the mau5, " Here's Joel Zimmerman or Deadmau5, The 28 year old DJ sensation from Toronto is taking the world by storm with his smash hit Ghosts 'n' Stuff" 

This was my first time hearing a mau5 song that wasn't Move For Me and it was only on for 20 seconds before we got out of the car, but I knew instantly his music was for me.  

I went into the house to watch Olympic coverage well into the night.  It must have been three in the morning when CTV showed some live footage of Deadmau5 show in Van City. It took me a few minutes to even register what they had shown. Flashing lights and someone on stage wearing a blue mouse mask didn't exactly fit the whole sports theme they had going on. It was late and my mind wasn't putting a+b together until I check my computer. 

I was downloading mau5's complete discography, and as soon as it was done I immediately a) realized that brief clip was Joel in action and b) listened to Ghosts 'n' Stuff. 

I'm pretty sure I've listened to that song on average once a day since.